New and old love, who will she choose
Boya is the director of the group’s office, she is generous and decent, and anyone who knows her is easily accessible to her.
Recently Boya has fallen into a lot of pain-I do not know how to choose the love that suits you.
Boya had consulted half a year ago. She wanted me to help her make the right choice: should I break up with my boyfriend who has been in love for seven years?
Before that, the boy chased for a long time, and Boya was impressed by him. He ruled out psychological and external tensions and fell in love with him firmly.
This love is seven years.
In these seven years, he always pursued Boya silently, taking her needs as his needs, and Boya also carefully explored his mood.
But no matter how hard Boya tried, his mood was always low, and he always couldn’t find anything to please Boya.
During the seven years, they had three attempts to make love, but all failed. He was nervous after the first failure, and he gave up after three attempts. They maintained their seven-year relationship in an asexual state by the love.
Boya didn’t know if she would stick to it.
At that time Boya and I discussed for a long time, and finally decided to break up with him.
In any case, breaking up is always an unhappy thing, let alone a seven-year relationship.
Not even ideal love is better than nothing.
The very lost Boya survived the first three months and pinned her spirit on the Internet. Soon she met a confidant, and after a preliminary understanding, they were officially in love.
When love can be shared by friends and relatives, love is equivalent to insurance, they are very harmonious and close.
Intimacy and harmony are the two major elements of love, and the absence of any point is inclined love.
The new boyfriend is a graduate student who settled in the city as an clerk. He received the love of Boya and made his lonely feeling good.
Three months has pushed them to the top of their love, and they are already violating the marriage location.
After breaking up, he came to her again.
. One day six months later, Boya received a call from his ex-boyfriend. He was very different from before, and was very excited to express his desire to see Boya immediately.
Boya didn’t have the slightest psychological preparation. Now he said that she would come over immediately. Boya immediately thought of telling him that she had a new relationship with her feelings. Although she had the right to love again, she couldn’t help feeling troubled.
Boya was still sitting there meditating, but he had come before him, and his excitement was hard to control.
He said he was finally eligible to love Boya, and he has now achieved initial success.
For six months he worked hard to make himself eligible for liberal arts.
He was very excited to tell Boya that he was already the person in charge of a large-scale large-scale project and had the right to control certain human and material resources, and in order to get these, he paid a lot of hard prices in half a year.
He just told that Boya was sitting there staring at her head: she had never seen him with such confidence, and this feeling had always been what she expected.
Today he did grow up, but he himself had already made the decision to break up.
Boya’s embarrassing expression caught his attention, he asked why it was, Boya asked why he hadn’t heard anything in the past six months.
He explained that he was struggling to concentrate his energy and let his heart be clear . When he heard the news that Boya had a boyfriend, he was very surprised. He wanted to know who this extra person was and why this happened!
Boya is a simple girl. He said all the situations they met and got along with. He said: Congratulations to Boya’s new relationship, but he was very uneasy because they were dating from online dating. There are too many uncertain factors.
At the time, Boya’s attitude was very firm: she didn’t want to destroy the love relationship she had just established, and she didn’t want to restore the relationship with him.
He walked away in frustration, but Boya burst into tears because of some unknown feeling.
For half a year, she missed him, but since she broke up, there is no reason to look back for him again. Another reason is that Boya has no confidence to return to him, nor does she want to break up with her current boyfriend.
She was in a state of helplessness.
It was a few days of horror. Boya was concerned about his state, but he didn’t dare to communicate directly. Now her boyfriend has been asking her to meet, but she has been pretended. She doesn’t know where her mind is going.
Boya received a phone call from her ex-boyfriend’s mother three days later, and she told Boya that her son had gone home three days ago and has been lying in bed without eating, drinking or talking.
Mother wants her to come forward to solve the problem.
The originally chaotic heart is even more chaotic. After answering his mother’s phone call, Boya will provide psychological counseling. She hopes that I can help her through the current difficulties.
Analysis one: choose because of loneliness or understanding?
The problem with Boya is that she doesn’t know how to choose her love, which includes not knowing her true heart and even knowing how to deal with it.
This first helps her make a choice.
Her first choice is to erode her ex-boyfriend. The motivation that can be analyzed here is: Does she really like him, love him, or because she does not want to hurt her current boyfriend?
Did she choose him now because of loneliness, or did she love him because of understanding?
The cause of Boya’s upset explains her conflict, what the appearance of her ex-boyfriend touched her, and what made her unbearable.
Only by such a careful analysis can Boya accept his psychological truth and use long sleeves to effectively deal with problems.
Analysis No. 2: Psychological freedom and independence through careful discussion with Boya, Boya gradually understands his own psychology and behavior.
She felt that she was really worried after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend, and her online dating was established under such circumstances.
On the whole, the current boyfriend is a good man, but Boya finds himself somewhat wronged in his dealings with him.
This shows that she often caters to him and gives up some of her ideas.
This catering expresses that Boya relies somewhat on this relationship and is not psychologically free and independent.
The appearance of her ex-boyfriend changed her previous understanding of him, but did not dare to accept him immediately. She needed time to increase her new understanding.
But Boya’s understanding of her own psychology was vague, uncertain, and even controversial, because she could not imagine that all of this was suddenly destroyed on the eve of her marriage.
So Boya’s heart was chaotic, and her confusion caused chaos in their two countries at the same time.
In our consulting room, Boya kept answering the call from his current boyfriend, and he asked a moment: Will you leave me?
Do you love me?
Worry overflows in words.
But his reason is still there, and he never forgets to bring one sentence: I respect your choice.
The present boyfriend is very worried that in the crisis state of the ex-boyfriend, Boya must make a choice, which is for the safety and well-being of the three parties.
Boya said: She had a hard time choosing, but she did not absolutely recognize her ex-boyfriend.
Conclusion: It took time to sort out the ideas and finally we reached a consensus: she needs separate time to consider the problems she is facing.
So in my consulting room, she called her ex-boyfriend and told him: she needs time to reconsider their relationship.
The ex-boyfriend’s mood suddenly improved, and he changed from absolutely hopeless to room.
Now the boyfriend’s mood has calmed down, and he also needs space to sort out his thoughts and face the new situation again.
Boya’s pressure has also eased. With the appearance of her ex-boyfriend, she can thoroughly examine her love psychology and behavior.
Temporarily put down, found a psychological buffer zone for them, and built a platform for their growth.
All three of them are willing to think rationally about new issues.